Yoni Massage (for Women) is a Tantric erotic massage. One of women’s most favorite sexual activity. Yoni massage will greatly expand your sex life, bring you closer and give you a greater appreciation for women. Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that is loosely translated as “Sacred Space” or “Sacred Temple”. Its meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of their usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is the spiritual exercise that honors a woman’s sacred temple — the yoni. The objective here, is the woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and experience much pleasure from her Yoni. It is less about sexual orgasm, and more about building trust and intimacy with your partner, letting go of negativity, accepting the love and energy of your partner, fostering a deep trust and sense of equality and safety in the relationship, and connecting with a higher energy.
Her partner (the giver) experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a special moment. The Yoni Massage is an excellent activity to build trust and intimacy. When it’s not used as a spiritual practice, it is used by sex therapists to break down barriers caused by sexual assault and to heal and restore sexual power in rape victims. It is an educational tool for both men and women, helping women gain a more meaningful understanding of their bodies and teach men reverence for women’s bodies, encouraging them both to exist as equal spiritual beings.
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and the giver. A quiet place is preferable with soft music, candles, pillows, etc. or whatever makes the participants feel comfortable. Have plenty of time and do not hurry through the process. Go to the bathroom before beginning; avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage later. Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other’s eyes for an extended time), or whatever you prefer.
The receiver lies on her back, with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). She can place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart halfway toward her buttocks, with her knees slightly bent, and expose her yoni for the massage; pillows or cushions under the knees will also help.
You (the giver) sit cross-legged between her legs facing the Yoni. The giver’s position must be comfortable too. This position allows full view and access to the Yoni and other parts of her body. Before contacting with the body, begin with relaxed breathing. Breathe in deeply, pushing your stomach out, and exhale strongly, pushing out any negativity, shame or fear.
Both of you should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if she stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is very important here. Gently, massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.
Apply a small quantity of a high-quality massage oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni or you can oil your hands.
Tip 1: It is assumed that your hands are washed and clean. You can wear surgical gloves if you or she wants to, but do not mix oil-based products with latex.
Tip 2: If she chooses, she might want to shave, as part of the preparation. Smoother genitals allow for a closer and more sensual massage.
After the breathing exercises, you can begin by gently massaging her genitals covering the whole area of the Yoni. Spend some time here and do not rush; work with the outer lips. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Massage gently the outer lip between your thumb and your index finger, slide up and down, the entire length of each lip. Repeat for the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Again, take your time…
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. It is very helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc. needs to be adjusted. Limit your speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations (I can tell you that for sure, too much talking or distractions and someone will be out of mood reducing the sensation). Stroke the clitoris gently, with clockwise and counter-clockwise circle movements. Squeeze it -gently- between your thumb and the index fingers. Do this as a massage and don’t overdo it with the stimulation. Clitoris is very -pleasurable- sensitive, so she will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel/explore up, down and sideways of the vagina. Vary the depth of insertion, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage and you’re nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a “come here” gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot which is called the “sacred spot” in Tantra. (There are some excellent products that go into detail about this area). Your partner might feel pleasure or even uncomfortable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert two fingers, the finger that’s between your middle finger and pinkie. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.
Tip: Optional, you can try, if the receiver wants it, to insert the pinkie of the right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your pinkie into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication and be very gentle. (In Tantra, it is said that when your pinkie is in her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on her clitoris, “You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.”)
If you are wondering what your left hand should do in the meantime… you can use it to massage her breasts, abdomen or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it’s usually best to use your thumb in an up-down motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hand will provide much pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand to touch your own genitals because it may take your focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her relaxation and pleasure and much of the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.
Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other’s eyes, as often as you can. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to her.
The purpose of the yoni massage is relaxation and intense pleasure, therefore, do not focus on giving her an orgasm. But if she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called “riding the wave.” Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient partner.
Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hand(s). Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality…
My latest book about Sensual/Erotic Massage is almost ready to be published. It’s a complete guide covering anything you’ll need to know about Sensual or Erotic Massage (yes, there is difference). Starting from Massage essentials and relaxing massage, while moving to sensual touch or advancing to erotic massage. Three full-detailed ritual massage sessions are described, a full erotic massage, a full tantric yoni massage and a full tantric lingam massage. I would like to include a “Frequently Asked Questions” guide or a “Questions and Answers” session in my book, so, if you have anything to ask, please do.
I’ll be happy to answer your questions (respecting your privacy, you will remain anonymous). Don’t hesitate to contact me. You may also sign up as a subscriber, as all my subscribers will be notified promptly about my book.